We have a breaking report that the CEO of the Onion Mike McAvoy has declared the company bankrupt. The satirical news source has recently found itself in hot water because of new competitors in the silly news business, new competitors such as The New York Times, Washington Post and Wall Street Journal getting in on the silly news market. You may now be confused "But I thought that these companies were serious news articles" you may be thinking, and you would be right these sites only report serious news but The Onion has been struggling to compete with the sheer ridiculousness of real-world news. Thus it has had to close its doors forever as it could not keep up with the real world.
But I can be prepared for some wacky stories, crazy articles and things so strange they might be true.